Wise Words by a New Friend
"Mindfulness is not an answer to your problems.
Mindfulness is moving towards your problems.
It’s feeling all of your feelings.
The answers happen once you stop numbing.
Once you delay or give up the habits that distract you, the pain will be so terrible, that you'll cut the bullshit and do what you gotta do.
You will get a better job, leave your relationship, eat what nourishes you, sell your house and become a professional scuba diver...
Or, whatever it is, you will do the thing.
But also, you’ll live with the pain that stays.
Pain is the key fucking player in all of this.
Some pain thrives on resistance and will vanish when you open to it, while other pain will be a part of your life.
It makes me nervous to get into the subject of pain.
I don’t know your pain.
I have so much respect for your pain that I would never want to come off as though I understand it better than you or at all. But I know my pain and I live with it. And that living with it; feels a lot more purposeful and alive, than the ideal of happiness I was chasing before.
If we dull the pain, we’ll never move on to the thing we’re passionate for.
My dad did that for forty years in his job. My mom did that for twenty years in her marriage.
But moving towards pain is a lot more meaningful than incidental self-improvement or a change in circumstances.
Moving towards pain is fully opening to your life as it is in the moment.
That is profound. That is what it is to be alive."