The Right Way is the Hard Way

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Forceful aggressive assists involving pulling, pushing, pinching, being stood and sat upon has a curious appeal. Other kinds of assists are desirable as well, sometimes by some people. Often times boundaries are crossed, rules are written, messages conveyed. I used to feel inadequate as a teacher because I didn’t do them much, but now through experience I feel assured it is right not to, not in this way. ——- The psychology at the heart of this issue may be complex; echoes of punitive parental relationships or dynamics within religion or education, reference to a familiar pedagogy we’ve been exposed to elsewhere. The physiological need for touch and it’s connotation of nurturance, specialness, intimacy, personal attention. The allure is some mix of thrill and affirmation and confusion. ——- I remember feeling important and delighted when my teacher commanded my body into places it had never been. I’d watch her strong thick ankles and rings on every toe while she handled me, the mellifluous confident voice shimmering around the two of us and I’d feel promoted a kind of VIP level in our unspoken club, dear student that I was, doing so well and so important I deserved to be moved.

Erin Jade